1) What is my most meaningful creation in my life?
So, as I sit down to answer these questions, I told myself….”Beth you have 30 minutes before you need to go to your next homework task.” So, looking at these questions, I am thinking that these are some really big questions and how on earth will I answer them in 3 hours, much less 30 minutes? I was thinking about the most recent MBody newsletter in which Mark discussed the idea of being too busy and how we make choices for things we do.
So, I come back to this great big question – what is my most meaningful creation in life?????
For this moment, what comes to me is the process of creating a loving environment for myself; the idea that I know I am walking a path in which I am learning to really cherish everything I encounter, every experience and every mood even – knowing that how I respond to my life today affects me today and also sets me up for the next step in life.
In my past, I did not always create a safe and loving environment for myself. I did not know how to cultivate self-love or self-honor. I did not always make decisions that honored my needs and well-being. As I do this now, more and more each day, I find that I am not only much happier, but I have so much more gratitude and so much more to share – to give to others I interact with – and THAT feels really good.
2) What is my most courageous act?
Facing myself. Still exploring this one. I don’t always enjoy seeing how I operate, especially if someone gets hurt in the process. But, I have learned to accept myself and also, notice when someone does something that bothers or angers me – often he or she is just a projection of myself. It gives me pause to notice. Learning to really dig in to me, as well as to accept others, right where they are, is so far, a pretty great journey. As I notice my tendencies, behaviors, thought processes, patterns, etc., I am able to just be, and not judge myself or others as much.
3) When do I feel most energized?
When I am doing something that really feeds my body and/or my soul – whether it is taking a walk, sitting with friends, running, doing yoga, writing, reading, watching a movie, or meditating – when I really focus on what I am doing, who I am with – where I am, I become comfortable and energetic. I love to do something active and then quietly stop and take a moment to really notice. While running the other day, I listened to my breathing pattern for a while and then begin to really go into my body, beginning with my toes and moving through my feet, up to my hands. It was a really cool experience because oftentimes, I run with my mind on my “to do” list or thinking about conversations, upcoming activities, responsibilities, etc.
Energy for me, comes from really keying in to my moment.
4) What forces drain my energy?
• Saying yes when I mean no.
• Gossip – sometimes I do engage in this and don’t even realize it – until I am sucked dry a
little later. I notice it especially when I say I won’t gossip – I do just that.
• Remaining around negative people for too long - I am really working to accept each and every
person I encounter, as he or she is, and allow that person to have the space to have whatever
experience he or she is having. But sometimes, my “fixit” character trait comes in and I get
frustrated because I cannot “fixit”. So, I guess for this, it’s better to move from a draining
environment (or person) if it begins to drain me.
• Placing expectations on others – sets up the opportunity for disappointment and makes me
upset. So, I am in continual growth and practice of “allowing” others to interact with me
without expectations – unless there is an agreement between us that we need to set some.
5) Who do I resent and how is that affecting me?
Hmmmm. Right now, the only thing coming up has to do with myself – when I feel threatened in any way, I resent that – this usually relates to someone “making me feel uncomfortable” in or with a situation. I don’t really think he or she is doing anything; rather I am pulling out my feelings based on something that is going on inside of me. I think a lot of this goes back to wanting approval from others (wanting to please everyone, wanting everyone to like me) so that I can feel good about myself.
The amazing thing is that I now, more often than not, I am seeing this as it happens, or shortly after the experience. I am uncomfortable with this but each time I am faced with such a situation, I am beginning to just sit with how I feel and know that shortly, those feelings will pass.
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