Week 3, EQUANIMITY (seriously) - Excavation Questions

Oh my gosh! This is the 2nd time I have lost an entire post and I am kind of stressed about this.....I am going to take a GIANT breath and begin again.
Week 3 Excavation Questions
EQUANIMITY - calm temperament; evenness of temper, even under stress
This is a GREAT night for journaling about equanimity - I am totally stressed out. I already felt overwhelmed sitting down to do these questions, that I have so many things to accomplish tonight - and then just as I was reading over my posting, the whole thing was deleted. UGGGGG! So, here I am, attempting to create equanimity in my breath, my body, my home and this moment.

1) How much do I believe that the winds of grace support me, and how does this play out in my everyday life?
I do believe that there are forces much greater than me watching over me, and when I can take a moment to allow these "forces" to support me, things seem to flow smoothly. When I am resisting the flow, swimming upriver, running up the down escalator, things don't seem to go as smoothly. I notice then when my week is a little extra physically challenging, or financially challenging, somehow, things just seem to work themselves out.

2) In what areas of my life can I have less reactivity and more divine interpretation?
In this very moment, I cannot think too far ahead but I can say that in this moment, in THIS area of my life, I can surely allow Divine interpretation and just let go. I feel like I am never going to finish this blog, my evening meditation, my homework, beginning to work on my class project, prepping for the week, etc. etc. so, I just have to let go of it all for tonight. I can only do so much. I will get tired soon and then whatever has not been worked on, will be left until tomorrow or the next day. So, how about letting go now....How about I just step back and see what I finish up.

3) How can I enhance the quality of my life through a shift in attitude?
Ok...two thoughts come to mind, "Life is what you make it" and "When you change the way you look at things, the way things look begin to change"....Actually, a few more thoughts popped in my the gist of my thoughts is that I can choose to feel however I want. I can choose to act however I want. I can choose to be happy or sad, fulfilled or needy. So, I do need to change my attitude. Life is good. I can do whatever it is I choose to do.
3a) How would situations feel different if I practiced non reactivity, rather than launching into an automatic response?
If I can be less reactive and flow more, I will not feel physically or emotionally stressed - the "sympathetic" response kicking in from the nervous system will be able to take a break, and my hear rate will be lower, my breathing slower, and overall, I will feel better.

4) What things are most likely to trigger reactivity in me? feeling out of control, not completing tasks I set up for myself, not meeting the expectations I set or (what I think) others set.

5) What can I do in those moments of reactivity to respond better? "Those" moments are actually occurring right now. So, I am going to sit and take some deep breaths - keep breathing until my heart rate relaxes, and until I feel grounded once more. There is absolutely no use for me to stress out about things that are either beyond my control, or that I can change. If I can do this now, and then remember to step back when I want to react, and instead observe a situation or a feeling, I can remember that all things pass in time.